Fuck 2010.

No seriously.

Fuck it!

It can only get better, right?

(ha!)

The Butterball

Just a reminder about how adorbz this kid is.

I am on winter break from school, so I am relieved of my nanny duties until the beginning of January. It's actually very sad for me. I miss my butterball.

It's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down.

God, growing up is harder than I expected.

Relationships are weird. Attempting polyamory is a whole new game for me. I guess I'm enjoying it. It's freeing, but I don't think it's the way to find a life partner. It's fun for now, though.

Exploring my gender and my sexuality has been a lot of fun too. Polysexual dyke. I can't think of a better way to describe my sexuality than that. Given that I am attracted to cis women and trans men, I can't cling to the label lesbian anymore. And that's okay. Polysexual is a great term. As for dyke, I see dyke as more cultural. I am into dyke culture, drawn to dyke company and present in a dyke manner. I will always be a dyke. 

As for gender, I am a girl. But sometimes I am a very masculine, boyish girl. Dating someone who's so fluid in their sexuality has allowed me to explore this side of me more. It's awesome. There I days were I present completely feminine, completely masculine or androgynous. I'm very comfortable in the androgynous presentation.

Anyways. That's what's new with me. What's new with you?

My baby doesn't seem to do much.

Baby Matthew is four months old now.
And he doesn't seem to do much. He doesn't roll over, his mom hasn't started him on baby cereal yet, and he's still just sort of loafing around.

A big part of the problem is that he doesn't get any floor time. If he gets put down, he screams and cries until he gets picked up. Given that this chunk weighs 20 or so pounds, this can be quite exhausting for me. I hurt my back pretty bad yesterday picking him up. And now I can't bend over. He needs to learn how to be happy on the floor, because he needs to learn how to move, and I need to not strain my back everyday.

So, mommies out there, any tips on how to get this rolly polly boy to move?



My little butterball.

Life changes.

My fiance and I are no longer together.

Life changes.

I'm dating a great transguy.

Life changes.

I'm no longer transferring.

Life changes.

The Nanny Business.

I need to start blogging here again to talk about nanny related issues and such.

Any input from other nannies or parents is always welcome.

For starters, my kidlets. For the sake of privacy, they will be only referred to by their middle names on this blog.

The oldest is John. He is seven and in first grade. He is great at reading, but doesn't do anything I tell him. He is also very good at art.

Next is Elizabeth. She is four and a half. Sassy sassy sassy. She's very overbearing and controlling over the boys.

Next comes Timothy. He is two and a half and the epitome of the terrible twos.

Last is Matthew. He is three months old today. He is a giant fatty. 18 pounds! He is chatty and gassy.

They are who I love. They don't know that we have just begun our last few months together. I am moving 500 miles away from them next semester.

Here's the thing. Nobody but my girlfriend reads this. Soooo all of my posts will now go on my tumblr which is accessed by at least fifty people a day (I know, I am so popular).

If you are silently reading my blog, please join me on my tumblr. The url is thegirlwiththegirl.tumblr.com

I hope I see you there.

Two. Two migraines already. March 3 and March 6. Keeping track. 

Rant

Rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant.

Body rant.

Body rant.

Sigh.

I really want a baby.

But wait! You're still in college! That's not a very good idea!!

I know, crazies. I know.

Still doesn't take away my craving for a child...that sounds a little like a I want to eat a baby. Which I do not. But it's like there's a hole in my chest. It's a small hole. The perfect size for an infant.

Dear future baby,
I intend on meeting you in seven years. Hold on to your socks.
Sincerely, Momma.

TWW

Not just for those waiting for a BFP after an insem. It's officially what the time between now and when I see my love for the next time will be called. TWW. Dreaded TWW. Horribly TWW. Miserable TWW. This distance is killing me. She was only here for two days. It's not fair that everyone else gets to live with the one they love. But no. Not me. I get to be 500 miles away 75% of the year with just tiny little breaks in between. Two weeks isn't enough. We fought like pit bulls last night. We've never fought so hard. I theorize that it was because we knew she was leaving today and that makes us both so touchy and SAD. And it's so much easier to say goodbye when you're angry. Hey, no one said we are the experts on healthy lesbian relationships.

We woke up not angry, though. It always works that way. My dorm is a mess. There are pieces of her everywhere. I'm not complaining. I'm dreading having to go around and find all the pieces. All I need is to pick bits of her up and throw them out...reading over that last bit makes it sound like I killed her and then chopped her up in little pieces. I just mean that there's a sock of her's on the floor. A candy wrapper. A sugar packet. Dirty dishes. Rumpled sheets.

SOB.

Win.

Win win win win win win. WIN.

http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/campaigns-politics/lesbian-couples-make-better-parents/

http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/community/lesbian-parents-just-as-good-as-heterosexual-parents-study-finds/

I could have told you that none-bio lesbian moms would be more likely to spend time with their kids than biological heterosexual fathers. Lesbian partners have to work harder to create a child (in most, but not all, cases), and are therefore more invested in the lives of those children they worked so hard to create.

I smell senior sociology thesis!

Gender

I want kids. If we are being specific, I want four kids (initially, I typed "six" which might by the crazy mother inside of me talking). And if I had my way, the first would be a boy named Elijah. And the next three would be curly blonds named Millie, Penny and Livie. I want my son to be at least five years older than the next oldest child and for the little girls to be close in age. Or even, I would love the last two to be twins. I want to dress up my daughters in matching dresses. Pink and lacy with giant bows in their curly hair. I want them all to play dress up. I want them to want to be princesses when they grow up.

But, as it is, life as thrown me in a different direction. A direction of compromises. My partner does not envision the same future. She sees three little girls, but no son. And we don't exactly agree on names, except for Millie which I suspect she is going along with only because it is an important family name on my side, and we certainly don't agree on how to raise children- gender-wise. She doesn't picture three fairy princess daughters. And she doesn't want them in pink lacy dresses with giant bows sticking off the sides of their heads. She wants gender neutral for the most part.

I am slowly learning to see her point of view. I've always respected what her opinion on dresses and pink is. But I am starting to accept it. And I am starting to adapt my way of thinking to hers. I recently purchased her an early baba's day present (baba's day is traditionally celebrated in place of father's day however this year it's coming early because my love simply cannot be patient for a present). This baba's day present is gender neutral. Well. Let me say this. In the past, I would have seen what I bought as something just for a boy. But as I adjust to this new brand of thought, I see it as something I would love to give to a daughter. Or a son. Basically, it is something I would love to give to our first child regardless of its gender.

I hope she reads this. Because it's a big deal that I am starting to see things this way.

I hate you, Sarah Palin

And I mean that.

She makes me sorry to be a woman, and I never want to feel that way. She misrepresents women on a daily basis. Now they've given her a spot on the fox news team. Shouldn't that be reserved for serious journalists and not flaky former politicians who still have things to say but not enough political prestige with which to say them? Apparently fox news doesn't give a fuck who's on the show as long as it gets them high ratings.

Which I am sure it does. There are basically two groups of people who want to hear what Sarah Palin has to say. There are the idiots: These people actually believe that Palin is intelligent, that she actually has something relevant to say. These are your gun toting, abortion clinic bombing, patriot-act loving fools who want freedom by way of suppressing the rights of everyone else around them. The other group is the stunned: These are people are like me. They are stunned that a woman that is so stupid is actually being listened to by the former group. These people recognize that Palin's rhetoric is DANGEROUS to the individual freedom that many Americans love.

Palin, and those like her, are destroying this country. They are the people that would rather torture prisoners than let a couple of dudes get married, the people that would rather protect their guns than protect free speech. And this kind of people is corroding the foundation of a country that believes in the rights of all men and women.

This is my life.

Welcome.

Okay so it's the snow storm of the mother fucking century here. Here being Kentucky in case you were wondering. So much snow. M and I are going sledding later today. And I should be doing homework. But. No. No thank you. I enjoy school, but I am not feeling it today. So I just won't do it.
Also I really want to go to work. But the weather is so bad. So I think it would be a pretty bad idea to if I decided to go anyways. Plus, I can't find my car under all the snow.

Dear blogosphere,

A family contacted me for a nanny position that sits right in my time range. Please, oh please let this work out.

Sincerely,
Noodle.

Oh And

I am looking for a full time nanny position (live-out) in the Atlanta, GA region starting in May and ending in August (summer break, you know). 

If you or someone you know is interested, I have loads of experience.

Okay So.

Allo.

Some things you may or may not want to know:

-My partner and I go to school 500 miles away from each other. This puts an enormous strain on our relationship. However, we are in love and we are committed to making it work.

-I am trying to lose weight. I have a red halter top dress that I want to wear to queer prom (exactly what it sounds like). And I want to wear a size eight dress to my wedding. I am working out five days a week. And I am trying to eat better. Trying being the operative word there. Eating well on a college meal plan is a challenge. 

-I wish to write here once a week, at least. I believe it will be good for me to commit to something. Even if that something is just posting an entry once a week. Committing is good. So commit I shall.

I'll get to this.